Sunday, August 7, 2011

Symbolic Moments

I have been reading the story of Diana Nyad and her quest to conquer the waters between Cuba and Florida. She tried it when she was 28 and had to give up, so she is trying again today. What makes this absolutely stunning? She is 60 and needs to see if she can do it. I cannot imagine the physical endurance and fitness this must take... some days every joint in my 52 year old body just aches.

She is hoping the this quest will be seen as a symbolic moment - nothing earth-shattering or politically moving. Just a event or accomplishment for human beings in both countries to appreciate - "a human moment between the two countries."

Life is full of these sorts of moments - some large and some small. Swimming the shark-infested waters of the Atlantic Ocean is a rather large "moment". My moments are much smaller, as I am sure most of us feel. As a matter of fact, I cannot think of anything symbolic or monumental that I have done in the last few weeks.

I have been feeling very disconnected and without purpose. We had a really lovely vacation trip to Bermuda and NYC, but I couldn't enjoy myself 100% - worried about money and feeling guilty about spending so much. So, it was not what I imagined it would be - my head was completely to blame, as it really was a great trip!!

It could be the really poor attempt Mother Nature has made to send a little summer sunshine and heat our way. We've had a few days in the last two weeks, but for the second year we have not needed fans to cool down.

It could be that my kids have been gone for three weeks - summer visitation with their dad - it's the first time they have been gone that long and NOT traveling. Weird to know that they are 10 minutes away and not at home. Today they left for another week on a church youth group mission trip to Leavenworth - which they go on every year and LOVE!! They'll be home for about a week and a half then they are off to dad's again and traveling to Canada for a family wedding. Then school starts and the madness begins. My son will be a senior and in about three months he will be 18 and I just keep wondering how that happened so quickly!

the kids and gang departing today

I am tired of my job... and while I do appreciate that I have one (so many don't) I just hoped that I'd be further along the road to doing something different. Life is full of adjustments and I find myself working my way through many this year.

I recognize that I am being a bit pathetic here. I think I need an Oprah intervention, you know "write 5 things you are grateful for each day". I really do have so much to be grateful for -

1 lovely home
2 a healthy family
3 kids who still talk to me and tell me "things"
4 a job
5 my creativity
6 my growing business through Etsy
7 sunshine
8 my friends and my First Friday night time with them
9 a juicy nectarine
10 the laughter of my children and the joy they bring me

Now, that's better!!

On the art front... here is the additional layering I've done on that larger piece I am trying out


and after

all for today my dears